Learning to Bear With One Another

I'll be the first to admit that I haven't always been very good at this. I'm pretty much a black-and-white kind of person. When someone does something or behaves in a way that doesn't line up with what I believe or how I choose to live my life, my natural tendency is to distance myself and move on.

I've never been one to feel the need to keep people in my life just because they've always been there. And when someone hurts me or someone I love, it's especially hard for me to want to have anything to do with them.

You see, I learned at a young age that sometimes you have to put distance between yourself and people who cause you harm, whether through their words or their actions. Over time, I learned to protect myself and the people I love by keeping my distance. And honestly, there are times when boundaries are necessary. Not everyone needs to have a place in our lives, and forgiving someone doesn't mean we have to allow them to keep hurting us.

But as I've gotten older and continued to grow in my walk with the Lord, I've realized there's a difference between protecting my peace and allowing my own way of thinking to determine how I respond to people.

That's where this verse gets personal for me.

Forgiving others has become easier for me over the years, but bearing with them? That's a different story.

I've worked long and hard on forgiveness. When someone has wronged me or my family, I have to remind myself of how much God has forgiven me. When I really stop and think about the grace and mercy He's extended to me, it puts things into perspective. I know I haven't always gotten things right, and I'm thankful that God doesn't give up on me every time I fall short.

You would think that remembering His forgiveness would make bearing with others easier, too. But if I'm being honest, this is still an area where I struggle.

I can forgive someone and still not want to deal with them. I can choose not to hold on to an offense and still find myself frustrated by someone's behavior. And when I see things as right or wrong, it's hard for me to be patient with someone whose actions I believe are wrong, especially when those actions have caused pain.

But Colossians 3:13 doesn't just tell us to forgive one another. It tells us to bear with one another, too.

I've been thinking about what that really means for me. Maybe part of it is learning to be patient with people even when I don't understand their choices. Maybe it's recognizing that not everyone is going to see things the way I do, and that I don't have to agree with someone to treat them with grace. Maybe it's learning not to let someone's behavior dictate the condition of my own heart.

And that's not always easy for me.

I know what it's like to be hurt by people, and I know how easy it can be to decide that keeping your distance is the best way forward. Sometimes it is. But I don't want my past experiences to make me so quick to walk away that I miss opportunities to show the patience and grace God has shown me.

The truth is, I'm still learning. I know God has helped me grow in forgiveness, but I also know He isn't finished working on my heart when it comes to bearing with others.

And maybe that's the point I need to remember most. God continues to be patient with me while I'm learning, growing, and getting things wrong. He doesn't expect me to have everything figured out overnight, and I need to remember that other people are works in progress, too.

I'm not saying this is something I've mastered. Far from it! But I want to be more mindful of how I respond when people disappoint me, frustrate me, or do things I don't agree with. I want to be willing to ask God to help me respond differently instead of automatically choosing to distance myself.

After all, I can be thankful for the grace God has extended to me while still learning how to extend that same grace to others.

I may not be where I want to be in this area, but I'm thankful God isn't finished with me yet.